Anna explains to Yohan that she finds it difficult to breastfeed Noah who is six days old. Instead of simply listening to Anna, Yohan immediately proposes the solution: Stop breastfeeding and give him a bottle. Anna then feels invalidated: She simply wanted to share a difficulty and would have liked her partner to validate her and encourage her to continue. She does not want to stop breastfeeding at the first snag.
She tells Yohan that he never understands her. Yohan then feels helpless and retires to the living room to watch a TV series.
Anna had difficulty expressing her need to be listened to. Yohan had difficulty simply listening to Anna. Inwardly, Yohan feels uncomfortable talking about breastfeeding. He admires all that Anna does for the family and wants to be actively involved. Rather than feel uncomfortable, he immediately wanted to propose a solution to “fix the problem”. For her part, Anna assumed that Yohan would intuitively understand that she was not asking him to find a solution but simply wanted a listening ear.
