Validation is the ability to communicate to someone that you understand and acknowledge them. It is about putting yourself in the other person’s shoes so that you understand how they feel and where their thoughts are coming from. Then, you can express to him that you understand his feelings or his point of view.
Listen to the other person and try to understand their feelings and point of view before expressing your own. Tell the person what you understood from what they said.
For example :
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«I understand why you get angry when I’m late for dinner.» -
«I understand that you are disappointed that I didn’t do my share to help you.»
Validation often has a calming effect on the person receiving it. It helps to make the conversation more constructive.
Validating someone does not mean that we accept their words or actions, or that we agree with their perspective. For example, it is possible to validate the other person’s anger without validating the way he or she expressed it.
